Unspoken
by Shadow Vanilla
Summary: Dear Roxas: you are not Sora and I am not your Riku. We're nobodies, remember? Akuroku


**A/N:** Gah, I'm getting sick. I feel like crawling in a corner. ;w; Anyway, I hope this makes sense! I like writing from Axel's point of view. This is my first time writing a 'letter', though. I fail at life sometimes. - Kiwi

* * *

_ Our time is running out  
Our time is running out  
You can't push it underground  
You can't stop it screaming out_

_I wanted freedom  
bound and restricted  
I tried to give you up  
but I'm addicted_

**(Time is Running Out, Muse)**

* * *

Dear Roxas:

Hi. Yeah, I haven't said that to you in a while. Odd right? Best friends that don't say more than a couple words to each other. Maybe it's because we're nobodies that crap like this happens to us. Or maybe it's just old me doing some wishful thinking – that we'll have a 'happy' ending like all of those princesses and princes in all of those worlds we get sent to every damn day and you'll smile everyday. Fuck that, you don't have to smile or be happy and frolic through flowers and all of that shit. Really, I don't want to do any of it either. Just give me a sign or something. So anyway, hi. How long has it been since I said it last? A week? Something like that. You know I'm no good at keeping track.

I think it's been more than three days since you looked me in the eyes. You always get that freaky glazed look and you get as pale as a sheet. Thinking about your other self – the real one? I wonder what kind of life he must have had. Probably better than ours, right? Must be nice. Be able to see life through someone else's lives instead of being trapped in this depressing dump. Whatever. Newsflash, Rox. You are _not_ Sora and I am _not_ your Riku. You can't even look at my face anymore. I keep asking myself why you do it. You don't give a shit? We both know that's a big lie. You found someone else? Yeah, who else lives here besides the rest of those bastards? So why don't you even glance at me for a second while you pass me in the hallway? Eh. It's probably some complex reason only you are able to wrap that little head of yours around. I want you to look at me.

I miss those blue eyes of yours.

You're ignoring me. I figured that out a while ago, you know. I know you can hear me when I call your name. It's not like you suddenly went deaf from a random and brutal heartless attack. I chased you up those white stairs that you know I hate to climb and all you did was get faster and faster as I followed you. And you know I'm not a fucking stalker or someone you have to run from. I must have seemed like a raving lunatic to everyone else, screaming your name after you like that. I know what _you_ would have done. You would have come down those stairs and slapped me in the back of the head and told me to shut up because you weren't going to go anywhere.

I know you can't make those kinds of promises now.

If you did, you would be one hell of a liar.

Do you realize we haven't eaten sea salt ice cream in a month? Xion is pretty pissed off about it. Not that I care, or anything. Really though, a whole entire month. That's like thirty days or something like that. Isn't that a lot, Roxas? Thirty days without sitting on the clock tower. Thirty days without sunsets. Thirty days without you.

It's weird.

I can still remember what it felt like to have you next to me, and kiss you, and all of that good stuff that just feels right. You know that I'm not the most romantic or poetic guy ever to exist. (or not exist, which ever theory you prefer) But I'm trying. I'm _really_ fucking trying. I need you to talk to me. If you don't, it feels like having a heart would be meaningless because I wouldn't get to feel anything without you there. That, or I would rip straight out of my chest. Take your pick.

I guess I'm sick for doing this to myself. I know eventually you have to leave, Rox, but I can't leave you and I keep trying to convince myself that if I think about it hard enough, you'll never have to. I know you know I'm pathetic. I just don't want to lose you. Ever.

You can keep on ignoring me, if you want.

- Axel


End file.
